The
Binding
©
By Jack Bogut
The two of them couldn’t have been more different. He was
tall, square-jawed, slender and gracefully poised over the center of himself.
He was also soft spoken, a little bit shy around strangers and disturbingly
handsome.
She, on the other hand, was short, slightly plump, with a
round appealing face more cute than pretty.
His dark hair matched his skin and features and always
looked good, even in the wind or the morning.
Her shock of blond hair seemed always out of place and
she pushed at it constantly.
He could throw on an old sweatshirt and a pair of torn
jeans and look like an ad in Gentlemen’s Quarterly. In a coat and tie, he took
her breath away.
She always looked like she was caught in the middle of
either dressing or undressing, never totally put together, not physically
anyway. Mentally, however, was another
story.
She was bright and spontaneous almost to a fault. You
never knew what to expect from her. You just knew that she was going to say or
do something, her face always moving from one expression to another. Plus,
there was a fire behind her eyes that snapped and got people’s attention. She
was irrepressible—impossible to ignore. The two of them were, at the same time,
such a contradiction and yet such a compliment to each other:
As much as he was shy, she was bold.
She was given to practical jokes. He was given to being
her victim.
He took care of all the routine things that brought them
stability and security.
She
did all the small but special things that gave them style.
These two were radically different puzzle parts that
miraculously fit together. In fact, there were only two things that they
apparently had in common: both of them were an absolute delight to be around, and
each thought the other to be the greatest person on earth.
That’s why it seemed so unfair, why it was such a shock
to all who knew them, when he was killed on his way home from work. It was a
grinding multiple-car collision that tied up traffic for over three hours.
She watched most of it on television in morbid
fascination as fire trucks and ambulances arrived on the scene. She felt relief
and joy as they got the people out and away from the fire and removed the
vehicles one by one. Her heart stopped in her throat when she saw the license
plate on the incinerated van. It was theirs!
The doctor said her husband never knew what hit him, that
death had been instantaneous, that he had felt no pain. All she could do was
look away and nod her head.
As
the doctor turned to leave, she asked if they had recovered her husband’s
wallet. The doctor said everything was lost in the fire. She told him that they
both had signed donor cards and that she would like to donate any of his organs
that could be used. The doctor said he was sure that they could rescue and use
his heart.
A middle-aged man in Philadelphia who had been waiting
for a donor-organ for over a year got the good news that night. The new heart
was transplanted into his chest in the early morning darkness of the next day.
When the man regained consciousness, the first thing he wanted to know was the
name of the person whose heart now beat in his chest. His doctor said he would
check and see if the family wanted him to know. The answer was, no.
“But, all I want to do is say thanks! I wouldn’t bother them ever again if they
didn’t want me to!”
The doctor said he would check again. The answer was
still, no.
A few months later, the man got a call from a young woman
who asked how he was doing. He asked her name and she politely but firmly said
she’d rather not tell him.
“Are you, are you by any chance a family member of the
person whose
heart...?” He stopped, unable
to complete the question, too full of emotion to continue.
After a long, uncomfortable silence, the young woman answered
softly,
“I’m his wife.”
“Then don’t…don’t hang up, please!” He pleaded. “Can you
tell me anything about him? I’d like to know something about him, about you,
about his family…“
The words didn’t
come easily.
“I…I owe you…“
Despite the awkwardness
of their conversation, a lot of good emotion did pass between them until, finally,
he asked for her telephone number. She refused to give it to him but she did
say she’d like to call him once in a while to see how he was doing, iif that would
be alright? He said it would.
Each time she called, they talked a little longer and
became better acquainted. And each time, he liked her more. She was very warm
and funny on the telephone but it was obvious to him that she was keeping the
conversation light on purpose. She only got serious when she wanted to know if
he was taking care of himself, watching his cholesterol and exercising and
getting plenty of rest. He knew what she was asking: if he was taking care of
his heart. He assured her that he was.
And every time they talked, he always asked if they could
meet sometime and she always said, politely but firmly, “No!”
And then she surprised him when she called in early
November. Abruptly, in the middle of their usual light banter, she told him,
“Today would have been our second anniversary.”
He asked if there
was anything, anything he could do for her. She said no and thanked him
quietly. Then she asked if there was anything she could do for him? He
hesitated for just a moment and decided to seize the opportunity. He told her
he would be flying to the mid-west to celebrate thanksgiving with relatives and
would have a two-hour layover in her city—could he meet her and say thank you
in person?
“What makes you think I live there?” She asked.
“I checked my telephone bill. You’ve been calling me from
a pay-phone in a supermarket. I know where you live.”
“Humph!
I should have known.” She said, with a smile in her voice he could hear. “Well,
I guess I don’t have any choice then, do I?”
He said no and kept up the gentle pressure until she
agreed to meet him at the airport. He said he would be the tall, dark-haired,
smiling man carrying the heart shaped box of candy. He asked how he would
recognize her. She said,
“Never
mind, I’ll find you.”
When
he got off the plane that day, he stood to the side of the gate looking for her
and, hard as he tried, he couldn’t hold on to the smile he’d been wearing all
the way up the ramp. He was so full of questions:
Would she be there?
Would she reveal herself or just watch him without
speaking and leave?
Would she trust him?
Would it be a good experience for both of them?
Or just one of them?
Which one of them?
Would she think he was worthy?
He scanned the people waiting at the gate in front of him
and didn’t see her as she approached from behind and to one side. She didn’t
say anything. He just felt a gentle touch on his arm and knew that she was
there. When he turned and looked at her, they both took a deep, shuddering
breath and slowly exhaled. They both compressed their lips and shook their
heads as they looked at each other. A casual observer might have thought they
had known one another for years. Her eyes filled up and overflowed. And then his.
Finally,
as the tension drained from their faces, they both smiled and shook hands. He instinctively
wanted to put his arms around her but thought better of it so he just stood
there, feeling awkward as a schoolboy.
“Would you like a cup of coffee or something?” He asked.
She nodded her head and they walked without speaking to a
fast food counter.
“Black?” He asked
as they took a place in line. She nodded again.
“Leaded
or unleaded?”
She smiled and said,”decaf, and I’ll get a
table.”
He
put the coffee on the table in front of them and stared into his cup. He had
lots of questions for her but decided to break the conversational ice by
telling her a little about himself. She listened intently and then slowly began
to tell him about herself and her husband. Then, in mid-sentence, she looked
away and drifted off into silence again.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” He asked,
controlling the urge to reach across the table and touch her hand. “I guess
this may be selfish of me, but I really need to say thank you in some way. Is
there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”
She just shook her head.
“Would you like to see how good I feel, how healthy I am?
Would you like me to dance a jig? Run up and down the hall? I can do that! I’ve
never felt better in my life. And I owe… I don’t know quite what to say.”
He held his breath as she squared her shoulders, looked
him in the eye and tried to speak. It seemed to take forever for her to get the
words started:
“Well, there is one thing you could do that would mean a
lot to me, more than you know, something that has been missing from my life,
but it’s…but it’s kind of a strange thing to ask!”
“Anything! Just name it!”
She took a long, deep
breath and with a heavy sigh said,
“Alright. We’ll have to find a quiet, private place! Just
the two of us. I’m really a little embarrassed to ask you to do this.”
“You name it!” He answered, “How about an Airline Club? I
belong to one. That’s fairly quiet and sort of private.” He asked, frankly
puzzled but delighted she wanted anything!
She nodded and they went to the Club where they found a
corner away from people and TV. There was a sofa on one wall and two chairs on
the other with a coffee table in front.
“If you’re at all uncomfortable with this, we don’t have
to go through with it!” She said quickly, obviously ready to forget the whole
thing.
“Not on your life.” He said. “What do you want me to do?”
“Would you…would you lie down on your back with your head
up there,” she said, pointing to the right end of the sofa, “and your feet down
here, and…and close your eyes and not say anything or do anything until I tell
you?”
He nodded his head, sat down on in the middle of the
sofa, swiveled around and stretched out full length, his head on the armrest.
She watched him from a few steps away.
“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?” She asked
again.
He nodded once more, having no idea what she had in mind.
“Now, would you close your eyes and promise me you won’t
move or say anything until I tell you?”
“I promise.” He said as he closed his eyes and waited.
Then he heard two, soft footsteps and the gentle rustle
of her clothing as she knelt in front of him and laid her head on his chest so
that she could listen to his heart.
After a long moment, she straightened up, squeezed his
arm and said with a smile in her voice, “Well it sounds pretty good, nice and
strong and healthy. You’d better take care of it! It’s not completely yours,
you know!”
“Oh, I will, I will, he said. “You can count on that.”
“I know you will.” She said. “Because I know where you
live too!”
